Part 2: How to Give and Receive Feedback

Guest Post

Dr. Edgar Schein, Professor Emeritus, MIT 

Author of Helping: How to Offer, Give and Receive Help

When we give or receive feedback several things can go wrong because of a fundamental misunderstanding of what feedback is all about in a relationship. We have all been in a situation where someone asked us for feedback, and we offered advice only to discover that this is not what the person wanted.

We have all been in a situation where a friend said “Let me give you some feedback” and we discovered that we either could not really hear what he or she was trying to tell us or we didn’t like what we heard. Yet we firmly believe that relationships and job performance cannot be improved without feedback. And feedback is indeed necessary for any learning to occur.

So why does it sometimes not work? Because we mix up feedback with advice, suggestions, general comments, and various other conversational behaviors. I propose in this short post to give a more precise definition of feedback and some principles of how to give it and, more important, how to receive it.

Feedback Defined

From the point of view of the receiver, feedback is information that tells you whether or not you are on track with respect to your own goals. So if the person telling you something is not connecting with your own goals you will not hear it or pay attention or even be offended.

Point No. 1

If you want useful feedback, you must let the giver know what your goals are so that the information will be relevant. If you are the giver, if you want to get something across to your subordinate, for example, you should find out what he or she is trying to do before giving them information or advice.

Point No. 2

Information will only be useful if it is specific enough for you to be able to apply it. So if you are seeking feedback give the person concrete examples of your goals rather than asking vague questions like “How am I doing?” If you are the giver of feedback try to be specific with behavioral examples.

If you want to tell your subordinate “you need to be more assertive” what you might say: “In contact with your customers I see you backing off; you should stand your ground more.”

Point No. 3

Feedback works best when it is timely when it is given soon after an event when it is clear to both givers and receivers what the goal was and how it might have been accomplished better. That is when the receiver is most likely to be open to hearing what the giver has to say and when concrete examples can be given.

Point No. 4

Finally, feedback works best, i.e. is most helpful, if it is descriptive rather than evaluative.

“You should have been more aggressive when John challenged you at that meeting” might be more helpful if it was stated as “When I saw John challenge you at the meeting, I noticed that you became silent…”

That opens the door for the receiver to explain or absorb the implication. It also focuses on what the giver of feedback observed which might or might not agree with what others observed.

By making a judgment of what you should have done, you are putting yourself into a superior role. By making a descriptive observation, you open the door to learning by exploring why the receiver did what he or she did.

We want feedback to be helpful but it is only helpful if it is solicited, specific, timely, and non-evaluative.

Reposted with permission.

Strategist.com

© Bredholt & Co.

 

 

 

The Feedback Dilemma

"Planes are safer when the least experienced pilot is flying because it means the second pilot isn't going to be afraid to speak up."   

--Malcolm Gladwell in Outliers

Does your organization emphasize the importance of clear and open communication (which includes listening) as much as it does being on a "team?" Probably not. And yet clarity in ideas, conversations, and interactions are sources of oxygen allowing systems to breathe appropriately--which is a sign of a healthy team. 

Problems at the office or factory are often rooted in a lack of mutual understanding about expectations, goals, deadlines, procedures, and who the customer really is. A readily available tool of management to address this situation is the proper use of feedback--or "feedforward" as our friend, Marshall Goldsmith, likes to say.  

How is the feedback used?

Some examples:

• Employees need to know what their supervisors are thinking in terms of job performance, and not just during formal reviews
• Management is helped by getting real-time information from those around them--even if it's something they don't want to hear
• Workers require candid conversations from colleagues for instruction, to gauge how things are going, and to achieve mutual goals
• Businesses should hear from customers in order to know how they are doing, what not to change and where improvements should be made

Holding Back

Why are associates reluctant to explain how they feel about something? It could be from past experience. Speaking up may have been taken the wrong way so employees learn to be silent. Unfortunately, this means valuable information remains hidden from those who might need it most.  

Thus the dilemma.

According to the organizational psychologist, Dr. Michael Woodward, two factors that influence how individuals communicate in group settings, such as staff meetings, are "personality and position." 

Thoughts are eventually shared because employees have to talk--often with a trusted peer or spouse. Some of the more useful internal focus groups take place at lunch.

Studies also show the hesitancy to candidly convey how we feel has cultural roots as described in the Outliers chapter about air safety and the "theory of ethnicity." 

Improvements in Aviation

Recent news stories confirm a reversal of deadly crashes in the airline industry over the past several years.  The conclusion:  Air travel in the U.S., at least, has never been safer. It has been a decade since passengers died in a crash involving more than 100 people.

This is a dramatic turnaround from the 1990s when, as someone observed, "planes were falling out of the sky."

One of several reasons for this improvement in safety has to do with pilot training. The history of aviation has shown a strong, if not a dictatorial role for the captain, causing co-pilots to not speak when necessary or speak but not be heard--often with deadly results.  An example of this is the 1982 Air Florida crash in Washington, D. C.

Captains are now trained to solicit input from all members of the flight crew.

For their own health and safety, businesses and nonprofits could learn something about improving the free flow of information from changes in aviation practices. 

A Definition Of Terms

How do we begin improving this essential part of our professional relationships? In addition to cultural issues, we can start by understanding the different kinds of feedback and improving the quality of our exchanges. 

In his practical book, Getting It Done (Harper), author Roger Fisher offers enlightenment on a largely undefined process. In addition to aviation-type "warnings" mentioned above, corporate feedback, says Fisher, has three key parts:

Appreciation

To encourage and improve morale. This is an expression of gratitude or approval of another’s effort. It is an expression of emotion, designed to meet an emotional need.

Advice

To help individuals improve their skills. Advice consists of suggestions about a particular behavior that should be repeated or changed. It focuses on the performance, rather than on judging the person.

Evaluation

This relates to making wise decisions about personnel and their assignments. An effective way to do this is by ranking the subject’s performance in relation to that of others or against an explicit or implicit set of standards.

Why does feedback go awry:

• We fail to understand there are different types of feedback
• We co-mingle the types (doing two things at one time—sending mixed signals)
• We use one type (appreciation) when we should have used another (evaluation)

Think for a moment about the last time you gave or received feedback. Was it clear?   Appropriate for the circumstances? Or did you get (or give) appreciation when you should have received (or given) advice?   

In a future post, we will share "tips" on giving feedback from the book, Helping, by Dr. Edgar Schein.

Properly used, feedback can be a positive force for your organization. 

Strategist.com

(C) Bredholt & Co.